hit the 2-0-0

i wanna write in the middle of the night,
i wanna drink and get drunk, oh it feel so right
I wanna jump, hump and bump

i wanna laugh, i want to laugh.
Coz i know and believe i havent taken overdosed but had enough.

I've had this crazy little feeling,
of being old, but so young at heart.

I wanna fall in love again and again.
and again. I am in love.

I am not angry, not anymore.
Not dwelling in my painful past.
Not soaked in my disaster, lonesome shore.

Not controlled by my self defined limitation.
Not even in others crazy expectaion.

I am happy. I am willing to satisfy my life.
Ready or not here I am ready to fight.
Rushing I am not. I just want to be on the right path.

Wait for me. I'm on move. I'll hit that hundred and fifty
Or 2 -0-0.
I'm not speeding. I am just boosting my engine.

I will let loose, let go of this angst.
Since. its like a nitro, injected to run these race.
But. I am determine to win this phase.

Just wait for me. Oh Lord Be with me.

Sinu Ka sa Kanila???

1. Destiny Addict – umaasa sa tadhana. Ito ‘yong mga taong, romantiko. Na mahilig magbasa ng mga romance novel. Na umaasang sana, matulad sila sa karakter ng taong nababasa nila. At umaasang sana katulad niya ‘yong makakatuluyan ko. ‘Yong mga ganoong drama.

2. Perfectionist – masyadong choosy. Sobrang mapili. May makitang kamalian sa isang tao ay nadidiscourage na. Kailangan perpekto ka sa paningin niya, para matanggap o mapili ka niya.

3. BusyBusyhan - mga taong sobrang workaholic. Para kuno sa future. Para sa kanyang sariling future. Baka maisipang magkaroon ng double kapag mataas na ang niyog. :P

4. Friendship Theory – kung friends, friends lang talaga. Kung ang ilan, dapat friends muna. Ito kung friends, friends talaga. Kasi ang iniisip ng iba, masisira ang friendship kapag, lalagpas na sa ganoong estado ang magiging relasyon ng dalawa.

5. X to the Next Power – taong ‘di makaget over sa past relationship. Sa mga taong mahal pa rin ang taong dumaan na sa buhay nila. Hindi ba sila nagsawa no’n? Hahaha! O ‘di kaya’y ‘di lang nila tanggap, na wala na siya sa buhay nila.

6. Family Feud - takot sa parents. Mga magulang na pakialamera sa buhay pag – ibig ng kanilang mga anak. Pwede ring mabait si anak, kaya sumusunod sa gusto ng mga magulang, pero lihim na may ka relasyon. Naku! mas mahirap ‘yon. Dapat nga silang matakot sa parents nila.

7. Forever Basted – walang nagkakamali. Ikaw na gumawa ng paraan, para may magkamali sayo, tsong at tsang. Sayang ang beauty. Sayang ang panahon, kapag bilangan na.

8. Heart Attack – ayaw at takot masaktan. Naku po! Phobia o kaya trauma ba ito? Sa mga may sakit sa puso, applicable ito. Hahaha. Magpaka single ka na lang. :P Sa buhay pag – ibig, hindi mawawala ang salitang ‘masaktan’ kaya aasahan mo iyan kapag ikaw ay iibig.

9. Waiter – antay ng antay. Wala namang inaantay. Wala akong order, Manong waiter Hihintayin si Dodong, si Inday. Naku! malay mo bang, may iba na pala iyon. Baka nga, kasal na iyon ngayon eh!

from Marvin Limpiado: Reasons Why They are Still Single

bitter after all this years

Its been so long, I decided not to post on my journal. I wanna know what goin to happen with without sharing it here, without talking about mine.

I got a new nicname for my love, jeremine. Coz I wanna shout on the top of my lungs that he's mine.

Anyway, I'm kinda depressed. Same reason, moving on without anger in my heart is definitely a hard hit on the head. I wanna feel fine, i wanna be simple.

But seems its against all odd.

I have to admit this. Im still bitter after all this years.

Loosing the anger Gaining my Dreams again

I just dont get if I still have that so called pride. somebody says "hey just lose it all... your anger your pride your pain and build your dreams again". The fact that yeah I can start all over again. Its kinda tiring to start all over again. but what else to do.

I am bitter and all. but I wanna to be the best optimist in my own history.

Back in my life right now. I'm loving Eastwood Libis and everything in it. I'm embracing womanhood aside from getting older (yeah i know), im starting to like dresses, light and pastel color dresses and blouses. And also stiletto with matching lady bags and dresses.

let me guess. I thing Im in love. hahaha.

Its dark all over again but Never say NEVER

Faded out into the light. I am sinking in behind the time. when I am supposed to be working the best that I can do after that disaster in my so called stomy life. I was watching the world change, and its to late to realize that I am just starin and doing nothing. Wondering what took this heart so long to mend and forgive, my bitterness still keeping my one foot under the earth.

 

 

I spent a real good quality time with my son yesterday, until the end of the day I found him longing for his dad and not calling me mommy anymore. No more sweet hugs  from him, no more kiss and no more sweet smile from him. What hurt the most is "He my sun and my stars", the hope to keep me moving and stand up against the gravity of unfurtunate career and family life. He is the greatest dream and best ever happened to me.

 

But now, I am just a visitor.

 

welcome me again to the real world of pain. I am laughing out loud yesterday while fooling myself and trying to say "Hey Vianca!! Move on and take what life is offering you. This is the reality, stop dreaming awake"

 

Actually, I don't want to be the worst me. I am seeking for the tomorrow and that everything will be alright. This is not what I been chasing for rest of my life. But I need to face it ALONE. And until one day. Maybe, who knows.

 

Those were the days, I am a real  mom. Now, the name who fill in the line above the word "MOther"  in his birth certificate. I was praying this thing will change. like he'll treat right. He'll hug so warm. He'll hug me so tight. Oh No..  I lose control and  i cant stop the rain to fall.

 

since last year, I can see a little light of hope but now its dark all over again.

 

HANDBOOK FOR 2009

Health:
1.      Drink plenty of water.
2.      Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
beggar.
3.      Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
         that is manufactured in plants.
4..     Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5.      Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6.      Play more games.
7.      Read more books than you did in 2008.
8.      Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9.      Sleep for 7 hours.
10.    Take a 10-30 minutes’ walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11.    Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their
         journey is all about.
12.    Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
         Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13.    Don't overdo.. Keep your limits.
14.    Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16.    Dream more while you are awake.
17.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18.    Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
         mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
        Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade
        away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23.    Smile and laugh more.
24.    You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
25.    Call your family often.
26.    Each day give something good to others.
27.    Forgive everyone for everything.
28.    Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29.    Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30.    What other people think of you is none of your business.
31.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will.
         Stay in touch.

Life:
32.    Do the right thing!
33.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34.    GOD heals everything.
35.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37.    The best is yet to come.
38.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39.    Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40.    Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

I have to Define my purpose

I was busy searching and waiting for what’s out there for me. Working for this company to this company (I was like doin a company hopping and I better do bar hopping instead K). I hate what’s really happening, now I found out I have no clear purpose at all. Losing lots of things/people I treasure the most make my stubbornness worst. Guess what I am like “I have to DO this and take this” or “ grab this and do a trial and error”. Nah, Not again I’m wondering Where am I going. The long wait is f****** annoying, and I’m getting old urrgg.

 

I am now an EASY GO UNLUCKY. Hey, I’m alone not having somebody to talk with all the time makes my coconut dull. I read a lot but my heads simple logic is not working.. come on. I hate this.