Lifetime to do list (since 2000) :

1. Buy myself a chucks.
2. Complete 20 best anime Manga series (passion for anime)
3. Watch Sakura petal falling (since sakura flower last for only two weeks and visit visa to Japan is kinda diffuicult to pass, so wish me luck anyway I will just stand there to watch then go home [Philippines])
4. Expreience
5. To cross a 500 meter long foot bridge (how about that?)
6. To climb APO or mount Bulusan (never mind Everest coz I might spend 2 lifetime for it)
7. Attend a finest (international/local) rock band concert.(rakrakan)
8. Spend vacation in Palawan with my boys (Jonah and Johan).
9. learn at least three instrument (I know how to destroy a guitar now, 2 more to go and I’m planning to conquer Cajon[beatbox] soon)
10. Dive Philippine corals. Visit Philippine falls.
11. Surf La Union or Cam Sur.
12. Read at least 20 great novel of the world.
13. Watch the top 100 must see movies.
14. I must own a house and a car (what do you think?)
15. Visit 3 beautiful beaches every year.
16. Cook a lot, bake as much as possible.
17. Buy a samurai ( I love Kenshien of Samurai X)
18. Complete BOB Ong’s book.
19. Finish my High School Scrap Book.
20. Win friends, rather than lose.

on my wall on truth thursday!!

in my wall, i would write "courage", to add up in my life as of this moment. I need some for sure or I have to dig for it. To fight back my fear. To face this challenge of being a product traininer.

wishes the fight is over

for all the tears and pains i tried to control but i failed to kept growing stronger. Accusing me of unfaithfulness is maybe your way to save your infidelity. these is the second time and if i failed to understand nor explain myself how to save us, it's all because i refuse to.

and yes it hurts so bad. but guess what? I have this courage to survive for myself and johan. though i am willing to try to work on this, but only 15% percent of that entire life span.

i am blogging to painful but sooner i'll switch to my ANger. Please don't push me into that, not on us. or let me ask to clear this one, is there really US?

my Wall thursday

this Thursday in my wall i will write "i'm afraid losing friends", and that every friend i loose is losing a month of my life spun, why? laughing is healthy. I'll be meaningful if i still have 'em (those who come and go) or sometimes separations and changes worth a miles of experience of pain and joy. That facts makes me feel happy.

darn i been missing my besfren, im worried about her health coz she's about to give birth.

and i ate my lunch alone, that reality makes me feel miserable. But, had a conference with my friends way back in college. i laugh out loud messing up with our memories and "katangahan" along the different road we track.
Formula? if time >= distance still friendshipB4 >= friendshipnow

Evergreen my darker grin

and now the day seems so fast.and this Vianca is having a hard time managing her materials and worries that kept crowding her brain. though my patience getting shorter and shorter i don't need to be the worst me in the end..God gave me this situation i must face it..

felt like i'm loosing lots of friends and i don't have any idea why they're acting stupid.hayz

is there anyone will help pinpoint what the problem..shaks this is not vianca that she used to be.

independence??

its 4th of July.. US independence day.
Am i going to be independent too?

Shall I call this freedom, when it's painful?
I can't control myself to drowned into thinking negative things. AM i going to be alone working for Johan's future? Is he serious with what he said that he will destroy this family?Is what I did really that painful or is chatting sweet thoughts with friends is really a unfaithfulness act?shi* i don't really know what to say, to think nor what to decide.

i believe I am brave enough thats why gave this things for me to face.

TRUTH THURSDAY: i wanna write this on my wall

This going to be my first Thursday to vandal on my wall. Today, i would write on my wall this one.to remind myself that this peace is not possible without the help of each other.

hanged lifeless..

seems like i am hanged lifeless.when my hubby accused me of unfaithfulness. Damn stupid coz i am not. with the guy who seemed to be a good friend.

The feeling of being misjudged is painful indeed. But, it was decided to end the relationship. I am not sure but I guess this is what he wants. I will not permit it either but there's no other choice.

I don't feel like explaining to him. coz he will not believe anything i will say, but i tried and failed.

Way back, i didn't do anything to hurt him, even a single mistake, even when he has other girl.
Now, he was all that cruel and angry. All he wanted was ti hurt me when its not fair.

my baby johan was sick. so i decided no more work tomorrow.