i got to choose

it's moms day. just arrived after spending lots of time with my son.i just cant believe living life alone and away from him can be this hard.i prefer to let him stay with his dad coz im incapable. incapable to give me him better future.

its really hard living the place watching him sleep, while im taking my step out of his peaceful. home. while on my way to pasig, im wondering, what if it stays this way and he'll be fine with me visiting over the weekend but not everyday. but i rather of his good life and only his dad can provide.

i know it matters not that i cant stay around coz i know it's the best for my son and for both of them.

and i cant stay with his dad, i dont call this a pride. i call it 'lesson learned'.

a week ago i decided to keep this in private but now i better hide and shout anything to the world with mask on.

i cant sleep, i am weary.

its better this way. being alone savouring my unfortunate life than having somebody to share my agony with. and i find that situation too selfish. its selfish making somebody feel the pain and distress coz youre life is miserable.

happy moms day to my mom, to my sis, to my lola, to my bestfriend. to mommy.