Faded out into the light. I am sinking in behind the time. when I am supposed to be working the best that I can do after that disaster in my so called stomy life. I was watching the world change, and its to late to realize that I am just starin and doing nothing. Wondering what took this heart so long to mend and forgive, my bitterness still keeping my one foot under the earth.
I spent a real good quality time with my son yesterday, until the end of the day I found him longing for his dad and not calling me mommy anymore. No more sweet hugs from him, no more kiss and no more sweet smile from him. What hurt the most is "He my sun and my stars", the hope to keep me moving and stand up against the gravity of unfurtunate career and family life. He is the greatest dream and best ever happened to me.
But now, I am just a visitor.
welcome me again to the real world of pain. I am laughing out loud yesterday while fooling myself and trying to say "Hey Vianca!! Move on and take what life is offering you. This is the reality, stop dreaming awake"
Actually, I don't want to be the worst me. I am seeking for the tomorrow and that everything will be alright. This is not what I been chasing for rest of my life. But I need to face it ALONE. And until one day. Maybe, who knows.
Those were the days, I am a real mom. Now, the name who fill in the line above the word "MOther" in his birth certificate. I was praying this thing will change. like he'll treat right. He'll hug so warm. He'll hug me so tight. Oh No.. I lose control and i cant stop the rain to fall.
since last year, I can see a little light of hope but now its dark all over again.
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